hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
