What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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