talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
