pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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