I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
