These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
