you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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