Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize