I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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