Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
