So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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