he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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