Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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