Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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