He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
