It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
