I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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