if you like me you must not know who I am
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
