You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
