You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
