he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
