Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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