DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
