i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
two words...techno handjob
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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