I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize