I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Are we still banned from the library?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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