i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
tell me about the fingering
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