I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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