you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
cat food counts as protein by the way
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
