I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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