I wanna bring you to show and tell
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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