i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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