Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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