I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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