3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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