The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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