You just made me feel so damn special
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
