? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
