wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize