I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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