I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
