I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
