Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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