He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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