I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
