Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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