I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
