you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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