apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
