he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
