You're completely useless in the revolution.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
