she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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