If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
