I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
