Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
