How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
