Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love having hate sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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