Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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