brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
