I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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