So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
