Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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