TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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